Things you may want to avoid saying to your DJ

I had a truly bizarre experience while DJ’ing a wedding two weekend’s ago and it got me thinking about all the weird/funny things peeps do to get you to play a song. So in no particular order here are 5 things that you shouldn’t tell me/do when I’m your DJ:

1. “Can you play this Pearl Jam song… I conceived to this song” (I literally threw up in my mouth). Definitely the first time I’ve ever heard that and I seriously don’t want to hear that again. This girl was fairly overweight and the mental images still have me scarred...
2. Play this motherf@&#%n’ song you f@&#!$n piece of $h!t. I don’t who care who you are - once you start disrespecting me, I officially tuned out and am definitely NOT playing your song. I’ve only experienced this twice and both times I’ve cut the people off and called them on it. Pointing out that all they have to do is politely ask for their song or write it on the list and you’re good. But to come up and disrespect me – how is that going to strengthen your case?!?!
3. “If you play this song I’ll give you a BJ”. While it’s appreciated that you want to reciprocate the favor, I’m married, have kids, yeah not happening. Asking for a song and flirty smile is defo the better way to go!
4. Coming up, requesting a song, then adamantly proclaim that you’re not leaving the DJ booth until you play their song. The occasional person institutes this curious move and are unaware that you’re actually trying to run a program with flow as opposed to some choppy mix of eclectic songs. It’s like a little kid at the dinner table refusing to eat his vegetables – give it up little man, you’re gonna lose the fight!
5. After you request a song and it hasn’t been played within the past 8 mins, you go and escort the bride up to the DJ booth to complain that “he’s not playing your request”. Insert roll eyes here. I’ll play your request, just give me time to gett’r done. Granted this strategy does work cause if the bride asks for it, I’m going to do whatever she wants – she’s the boss, paying the bill – DONE!

Keep it real, be a normal person to your DJ and things will go a’ight!